Something for the dream diary

Wow, look at the time. It is 8:18am, I am out of bed and typing away in my blog. And you know what, it didn't need no fancy tricks, no putting my alarm on the other side of the room, no snooze button, no special pact with my housemate that we'd promise to wake each other up. No. All it took was going to bed at a reasonable time. Seems pretty obvious now, yeah I'm sure those of you who knew that are all feeling pretty smug at the moment.

I even had an alarm set for 9 0'clock, but I actually woke up naturally just before 8. And that seems to be the real secret to getting out of bed. The best alarm clock for my body seems to be itself. It knows best when to wake up, and it'll wake up when it feels it's the right time and it's had enough sleep. Having an alarm going off before it's time to wake up is why I'm having problems getting up. An alarm going off when you're in the middle of a deep sleep is (for me particularly) quite a painful and traumatic experience. It sounds as if I'm exagerating but I'm not. In those rare cases when I actually manage to get out of bed after such a small amount of sleep (and it's usually because someone else is forcing me to get up), I'm in a very irrational and angry state of mind. Any sharp objects such as knifes, razorblades, or kettle chips (eating those things are such a weird blend of pleasure and pain; they taste so good but their rough serrated edges are unfriendly to the inside of your mouth) must be kept away from me because I'll lash out in an indiscriminate manner at anyone who comes near me, failing that, if I'm still really desperate to get back to sleep I might attempt to cut my own wrists with them.

Yes I'm being dramatic, so what? It's eight in the bloody morning!!!! I'm not supposed to be up at this time, it's weird. As punishment you're now going to have to read about the dreams I had last night (I don't care that you reading this right now had nothing to do with me getting up this early in the morning).

I can't remember that much of it, but I know one of my housemates is gonna like the first part because it was about Doctor Who, and she's always having Doctor Who dreams - I've never understood these people who are always having dreams about the things or the people they like. Like another friend of mine who used to always seem to have dreams about meeting Greenday, or getting to play in the band Greenday. Why do they get to have dreams about such nice subjects when the rest of us are having dreams about being born out of a womb and then left abandoned on the floor as a helpless baby with nothing else to provide you with sustenance other than the afterbirth from your absent mother's womb (this was actually a dream I had once years ago, and the whole experience of being born and eating the afterbirth to survive happened in the dream five times over. I know it's really weird but I can't control this stuff, it just happens - I told a friend about this dream recently and her reply was "that's the kind of dream that if you were to tell your mother about it, she cries").

Hmmmmm, I'm not sure I should carry on after just telling you that. You probably don't want to read anymore of this now that you've had this curious glimpse into my unconcious mind.

So, I was having this Doctor Who dream, and rather than getting to be the man himself I was his assistant. We had some sort of adventure, I can't remember it really but I know it was set on New Years eve, there was a party or someting. Dreams are crap you can never remember anything from them. I know usually at some point in my housemates version of the dream she would have sex with the Doctor, but it didn't happen in mine. I think after the Doctor Who part the dream changed and other stuff happened. I remember that near the end of the dream I was some sort of toy inspector, and my job was to check a production line of dolls and action figures for any illegal instances of A.I. (artificial intelligence but I'm sure you all already knew that, but just in case).

For some reason in this dream world A.I. was illegal, even in kids' toy dolls because there was some fear that they could take over the world. I think the government in my dream were actually in the middle of the war with some renegade Mattel toys, so we had to be on the lookout for any sleeper agents I suppose... When I think about it now, in some ways this dream is actually cuts a very weird parallel with the current the War on Terror! that's being going on for all these years. Or, maybe it's as Freud would have it, and it's all about sex or repressed sexual desires, like maybe I wanna have sex with toys or action figures or something.