Blockbuster angst

Yesterday was pretty unpleasant. I mentioned in my last post that I had to work an eight hour shift starting at 2 o'clock. Now I'm sure anyone who is reading this who isn't a student won't be feeling very sorry for me, but that's okay. I know most people are having to do this 5 days a week, and if you don't enjoy your jobs I feel really sorry for you. We all say we gotta do this for the money but if you're in a job that is totally unfulling and is a misery it is horrible isn't it? But I would argue that it's worse for me in my job because I only go in once or twice a week, rather than doing the 5 day a week slog that some of you might be doing.

I suppose you want me to justify what I was saying in that last sentence?

No... I'm not going to.

Okay then I will tell you why.

If you're working 5 days a week in a miserable and unfulling job, you've immersed yourself into a routine. You're job, as horrible as it is, has become a habit that'd you'd probably like to break but can't. You have subjected yourself to this gratuitous and almost daily activity for so long that the misery of it has become a fundamental part of your life and so you're able to "put up with it".

I on the otherhand don't have a routine of misery and unfulfillment to put up with every day. I am my own boss and can pretty much conduct myself how I want. If I don't feel like doing any writing today I don't have to, though if I don't I'll probably feel guilty about it later and have work that bit harder to keep up (like I'm doing now in the final stages of my degree). But at least I'm in control. Then of course there's my job at blockbusters. That horrible, miserable job, that I actually kind of liked once, but now I dread having to go in. I literally find myself counting the days until I have to work again, whereas you nine to fivers are counting the days to the weekend. Do you see? For those who work the monday to fridays, the end of the week is almost like a reward for lasting another 5 days in your job. The weekend is when you get to kick back and have fun (unless you have children then I feel really sorry for you - you have no life). I on the other hand have to work those weekends. I have nothing to look forward to.

I am just having a little joke with this rant here, but I just felt like expressing a little of my blockbuster angst today. I haven't got anything against working, just so long as you're getting something out of it. Be it good money, or you love the work, or the job you're doing is doing some good somewhere. Last summer for example, I was working 7 days a week for the whole 3 months of my "summer holiday", and I wasn't even getting any money out of it. From Monday to Fridays I was working in London doing an internship that taught me a hell of a lot about screenwriting, and I even got to work on a feature film that could be getting made over the next couple of years. Then on the weekends I was working at *sigh*, Blockbusters for a little extra cash. That summer was hard work but I didn't mind it because I was enjoying what I was doing.
As long as I can get a job that gives me similar satisfaction when I finish here I will be very happy.