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Not long got home from work and I was soaked right through. I knew it was a bad omen when I left the house today and I couldn't find my hat. Although I don't always wear it, I always make sure I have my hat and my gloves when I go to work because if I have to walk back home after, I need to be prepared for any adverse weather conditions. This evening I wasn't at all prepared. I had no hat (which I know would provide little protection but it would've been something), and a brand new jacket that I only bought yesterday so I didn't know how it was going to be in rain... As it turns out it was shit for heavy rain. That'll serve me right to go for style over practicality - and the jacket is pretty stylish (although cheap as well, one of the buttons on the cuffs is broken already!).
But this wasn't what I wanted to write about tonight. What I really wanted to talk about was the Dodgeball tournament I took part in last Wednesday. In fact I've been wanting to write about that since Wednesday but other things have kind of gotten in the way. I've not been having that much of a good time this last week and things have been getting to me. Feelings of worthlessness and shit like that... Hence the missed days of writing here. I'm kind of up and down I guess.
So last Wednesday I was in a Dodgeball contest. They have them a couple of times a year at the University, and I formed a team and competed in the first year. The rules are pretty much like they are in the movie, and you're supposed to come in fancy dress. In the first year we didn't really have that much notice and came up with the name "Granny's favourites" on the day of the competition after a friend of ours gave us some knitted jumpers to wear as our costumes.
That year the team consisted of me (as team captain), and four other guys off of my script writing course, which were Grant, Paddy, Ben, and Swpnil. I remember the day of the competition when Grant and I walked into the sports centre to sign up our team, we were there just to have a little fun but when we saw what the competition looked like we pissed ourselves laughing whilst quivering with fear at the same time. All the other teams looked like super humans. Now myself and Grant are not small people, I'm about 5ft11 and Grant (who happened to be the tallest member of our team) was about 6ft, but these guys easily towered over both of us. They made Ben and Swpnil, who are only about 5f6inches tall, look like Hobbits. The other teams weren't just tall but they were also the athletic sporty types with 6 packs and huge biceps. Our team consisted of scriptwriters, characteristcally unfit, inactive types who live solitary lives indoors away from fresh air and sunlight.
But we came out and gave our best... and lost everygame we played. None of us could throw a ball to save our lives. Either they would miss or the other team would catch it, which meant the player who threw it was out. On the other hand none of us could catch anything they threw at us; we would either drop it or just get hit by them. About the only thing we could do was dodge the balls, although we could never keep that up for long because we were so badly coordinated that we ended up colliding into one another and then became sitting ducks for any attacks that followed.
The only other team who were as bad as us was the all girls basketball team. They lost every game they played as well, and it wasn't even like the teams they were playing were even trying very hard. They went easy on them the same way an older sibling goes easy on a younger sibling when they play any sort of skill based game together. You play crap enough to make it seem like they have a chance, but ultimately you still play well enough so that your younger brother or sister can't win.
Because of this, we were dreading playing the all girls team. What if we played them and they beat us? We would be a laughing stock. On the other hand what if we went out there and beat them? We would still be laughed at because everyone will be able to tell that we would have to play seriously to win. The only way out of this dilemma with some shred of dignity was not to have to play them at all, and fortunately, for some reason, that is exactly what happened.
In the two years since that game I often saw Dodgeball tournaments advertised at the uni, but for some reason my mates didn't seem interested. One of them in particular was totally adverse to ever doing it again, though to this day I really can't understand what he had against it. So what if we were shit and fared poorly in every game, it was just meant to be a bit of fun.
So last weekend my housemate Paddy said there was another competition coming up and asked me if I was up for it. He also managed to rope in Ben from the first time round as well, and the other two team members consisted of another guy off of our course called Lee, who is pretty athletic and good at basketball, and one of Ben's friends, Ross, who is a pretty well built and tough guy. As Paddy had put the team together and signed us up, he was the one who came up with the team name. The name he had chosen was "The ball bags".... As if defeat wasn't nearly humilating enough in itself. What was worse is that we totally forgot about doing any sort of fancy dress, so that when we turned up and everyone was wearing all kinds of cool themed outfits, us lot were in trackie bottoms and t-shirts so we didn't look like we had bothered to put any effort in.
I felt positive that we would do better this time. Our main plan was to go out there and win a game. I know you're probably thinking that that is not the way winners do things. A winner would go to the tournament with the ambition of winning the tournament, but I had decided that while that could be the ultimate goal, we would make our goals more bitesize, and easy to handle, so that we wouldn't be setting ourselves up for any kind of disappointment. So if our imediate goal is to win a game and we do that in the first game, then our next goal would be to win another game. That way we would be aiming for one little victory at a time, and perhaps take that path to the ultimate victory of winning the competition...
We didn't win our first game.
We weren't totally shit though. At least not by our standards, but only because I think we had lasted longer in that first game than we did in any of our games in the other tournament we had been in. Still, we could've done with getting at least one of the opposing team's players out.
But the fact that I had dodged a few balls and was one of the last people out on my team I felt positive that we would do better in our next game... How wrong I was. It was the briefest game of dodgeball I've ever played, and as I came off the court a guy dressed as a fairy to said to me "That's got to be some kind of a record isn't it?"
After that game while the other games were being played out Paddy and I practised throwing the ball at each other and trying to catch them, because that was the secret to winning it really. I saw so many games turn around from people catching balls, cause if you catch a ball the guy who threw it is out and one of your players comes back on.
The next game was a funny one. We had a good start and got one or two of their guys off, and I remember thinking in that moment "Wow! We're gonna win this one!", but then when I looked to my left I could see that it was only Ben and I that were left. A ball came hurtling at him and he tried to catch it but he was caught off balance as he reached out to grab it and fell over. From the perspective of someone a little further away it probably looked as though the ball hit him with such force that it knocked him down. I was the last one left and was dodging balls pretty well but knew I needed to catch one if we wanted to get back into it. Then, a ball came at me that I thought I could catch. The stupid thing was, I already had a ball in my hand, so I tried to drop that and catch the ball that was coming at me but fumbled it and managed to fall on my arse in a similar way to Ben just did.
We now had only two games left to play, and by our performances thus far, even winning one game was looking unlikely.
The fourth game came and I went out straight away, and the rest of the team soon followed. Things were looking dire. I just wanted to win one game, and there was only one more game left in which to do that.
------ Picking up from here ------
The team we were up against had fared as badly as us in all their games so we were in for a chance. I took my starting position on the far side which was right up against a wall. The player opposite me was the team's only girl and . She couldn't throw or dodge but she had gotten sympathy in a few of the matches when she ended up being the last player left standing. The guys spectating would cheer her on while the opposing side would get booed at. That's the benefit of being a girl in a situation like this. If you play shit no one judges you harshly they just feel sorry for you and give you encouragement. And it's not because she was the only girl in the tournament either. There were two other teams with female players - only they could actually play and were quite good so they were exempt from such sympathy.
When the whistle blew I sprinted towards the centre line for the ball feeling confident that I would get to the ball before the girl because she was wearing a denim skirt and wouldn't be able to move very fast. To my suprise the guy next to her changed course and instead of running for the ball in front of him, crossed over infront of the girl and sprinted towards my ball and got there before me. I quickly stopped and took a few steps back as he launched the ball at me. I managed to avoid it and the game was now in full swing.
After dodging a few balls from the girl and the guy, I managed to hit him with a ball in the leg - it may have been the first person our team had gotten out in the tournament so far. For a short while I was in a battle with the girl until she threw a ball that Lee managed to catch. Then I dodged a ball from another guy and countered with one that got him out as well. Then suddenly there was one player left (i'm not sure who got the other guy out), and four of us. He aimed a ball at me that I was able to catch and he was out... We had won a game!
To see the celebrations from myself and the rest of the team you would have thought we had won the tournament, but for me, winning that one game was a victory. We had finally done what I had came there to do and beaten our record of zero wins from the tournament 2 years before.
Go Ball Bags!
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